Bryn had a tough time the other night after a therapy session. Eva took him to a quieter place than he is normally in himself. She says his resting heart rate is quite high so she sat him down and slowed him down. I think now that he is always on-line, on games, on texts because he is revved up to avoid another level of depression and fear that is lurking below the surface. He came home from that session, the first one his dad has accompanied him on and had major blow-up, refused to go to bed, staying up until 3:30 a.m.to piss us off and refusing to talk to us. He left poison pen letters of hate, at our computers. Brian and I were so upset, no one got hardly any sleep. It was a very rough night. I don't cope well at these times, my anxiety level hit 9/10, stomach aches and Brian felt similarly.
In the morning we talked with him and I could see that he had touched a deeper level of pain and fear in himself and was reacting to that. He agreed and could see this a little more clearly. He skipped school because he was unable to get up. His English teach, who is an amazing woman and who he likes a lot, e-mailed me and said she was worried because he had missed English again. She said she was going to talk with him when he came in the afternoon and turned in his homework. She did that - she was amazing. She told him she thought he was not the same enthusiastic, inspired person who started in Sept. And asked him what happened. He said the 3 week long illness had left him discouraged and that he didn't like plays much. She has rheumatoid arthritis and she spoke to him of her journey, told Bryn that he would learn to live with himself. Bryn said he didn't want to live with this, he wants to be like everyone else. She told him she understood. She said she and he are not quite like everyone else and that they have to learn to live with that. She said sometimes she can't go with her friends because her immune system is low. She said she is 45 and still learning to live with her AI syndrome. She told him not to give up and to keep doing therapy.
Bryn came home with a very deep smile in himself. I feel she is a true blessing. He has not had anyone to speak to of this who can relate from a similar place with similar feelings, before this year. Now he has his girlfriend and this wonderful woman. I sent her the following e-mail:
"Thank you for talking to Bryn.
You are like an angel come to show him he is not alone and that
people cope as best they can and keep growing. Until this year he
hasn't had anyone who can relate to him from their own experience -
now you and his new girlfriend both - what blessings. It was a very
long dry spell to not meet anyone who had similar feelings for
similar reasons..... You are truly a gem, as a teacher and as a human
being.
Thank you again, Cathy
Blessing to all of you out there, Angels do walk among us,
Cathy
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