Hi,
Bryn has discovered he needs 30 hours of work experience or volunteering to graduate from Gr. 12. He was going to walk into West49, a skateboarding, clothing shop, where he has bought all of his clothes for many years, and ask if they are hiring. One of his friends was hired there just recently. But he went to the mall and didn't go in and ask. He came home and said he can't work now or through college because he catches so many illnesses. He would miss too much work and be fired. Also his energy levels are less than normal and I don't think he can add to his load of school demands. He needs to rest on weekends. He really wants to work, to experience this sense of independence, this right of passage. But again he is foiled by ALPS related issues.
I could see his heart breaking, he hardened up, said he didn't care about anything. He doesn't want to feel this. It seems he makes 2 steps forward and then gets hit back again. It breaks my heart to see him hurting again.
I want him to be able to work but when he said that he couldn't I just went blank. Is he right? How can he hold a job when he is sick so often, this year for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. His therapist works with the body and energy and she says his core vital energy is almost non-existent. He hypes up to be with his buddies, afraid he won't be able to keep up and belong, and uses so much energy doing this. He is getting aware of this and trying to be calmer. His resting heart rate is 120 a lot of the time, which is nuts and takes a lot of energy. This is fear of letting go for fear there will be nothing, nobody on the other side. He has made such strides in this recently and we are working on filling his energy "tank". I believe we can do that - so does he. But then this job thing comes up and he feels beat down again by his condition. I am overwhelmed by sadness for him. I can barely think about it myself or understand what he should do, can do.
I spoke to Canadian civil liberties people last Fall and by law he cannot be denied a job because of his condition. But if he is absent a lot and it is deemed to create hardship for the company they can get out of the law.
Perhaps he can work just very part time, super-casual, on call. He is not too open to creative solutions right now. It is overwhelming, as first job application, to have to explain himself and ask for creative, flexible working hours. His life experience so far doesn't prepare him for this. We can try but he doesn't want to talk about it right now and as we are his parents we don't hold much credibility at this point. He needs to find his independence and working is one of the ways to do it. He is disappointed, frustrated, hurt and afraid - this would be his first work experience and he doesn't want to be different, which is another issue for him generally. He also doesn't understand the possibilities and is too afraid to open his mind right now.
I don't know if or what the solution is at the moment either. I want to call West 49 myself and ask them what they could work out, just theoretically, but Bryn is 17 and needs to get mom out of the picture. I can't get a job for him.
Has anyone ever been here job wise? Did you find a solution? What was it?
Cathy
This ALPS continues to be a big challenge and keeps punching our beautiful, vibrant, bright son in the nose. It is not fair.
No comments:
Post a Comment