Hi ,
Well,  as result of my finger in the door accident and the resulting therapists appt. Bryn is being far more responsible. We have let him decide when to go to bed - he is going at 12:30 on a school night!! I am not happy with that and tell him I don't agree but I don't change the time. And he says to me "I know you don't like it" CALMLY! Six hours of sleep?! But he desperately needs to have the choice in this  - I see that.

Our therapist says that he is too bonded. When she says that I feel guilty or angry at her. I don't think he is too bonded. I think what happened is that becasue of the trauma of ALPS and the diagnosis he was unable to take normal responsibility for his age. He would go nuts at the drop of a pin. So in this way he has reached 17 and he is delayed in his development. He is normal slothful 17 year old boy, too, but I do think he is delayed also. He is crying for freedom when what he really needs is the ability to take responsibility so that he can be more independent and trust that he will be able to manage on his own. Somehow he knows instinctively that he hasn't developed that and he feels trapped by it. He NEEDS these skils at this point. And now when we try to teach them to him he rebels because that is normal for 17 year old individuating and gaining independence. So his rebellion traps him in the corner where he is stuck with no responsibility skills. The rebellion is normal too.

We broke that trap last time at the therapist. As hurt as I was that she didn't address his nastiness to me, or even offer a kind word to me - she brilliantly got him over the hump into accepting responsibility for more freedom at bedtime. I know she couldn't be seen to ally with mom and she couldn't move him off his teenage crazy head but I wish she had said to me something like "that was a tough session. Good work mom. Are you OK?" even in private. However, nonetheless, she got him over a very important hump. He is doing things that he should be  doing around the house much more readily and demanding to do things by himself rather than tossing them at me all the time and saying he is too tired or busy or whatever. He WANTS to do things. Brilliant!! Now if he would get some sleep that'd be great..... all in time.

:-)
Cathy